C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
