i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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