she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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