Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have aggressive nipples.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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