She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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