Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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