Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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