Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
