I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
this boner is exhausting
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
