shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's official drugs can't kill me
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
