you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
