they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
