Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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