Kiss
Puke
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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