Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
