He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
