Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
