I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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