I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
