There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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