they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
