Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
