i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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