We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
