moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
