it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
