I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
either way he was missing a nipple.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
