I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
