i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
