They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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