i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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