it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You dont lie about slip and slides
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
