Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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