Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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