Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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