Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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