You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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