He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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