how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
