Define "chronic" masturbator.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
