Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
