I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
