i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
