she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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