I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
