Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
