Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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