Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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