So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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