I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
