she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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