i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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