i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We left the knife in your bed.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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