Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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