dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
