Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
