check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
