party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
