Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
